


Fill Your Heart

by LoganStark



Category: Avengers (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Child Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, M/M, MIT Era, Pining, Sad with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Steve tries to help, Young Love, sue me, tony is a sad baby, yes the title and chapters are all david bowie songs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2019-12-26 02:15:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18273755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoganStark/pseuds/LoganStark
Summary: 𝘍𝘦𝘢𝘳'𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥, 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘍𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥, 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘚𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦





	1. pretty soon now you're gonna get older

_ Monday. 9am. The quad. The usual crew.    _

Tony at the head of the table, waving around his iced cold brew as he discussed this week’s order of business. Natasha sat to the right of Tony, clutching a black dark roast as she observed Tony from the corner of her eye. Clint was to the left of Tony, his espresso shots long since consumed, only picking up on the occasional exciting buzzword. Pepper sat aside Natasha, a hot tea set in front of her, her eyes trained on Tony and a soft, fond smile playing on her lips. Janet was directly across from Pepper, her hand wrapped around an iced tea, half listening but mostly playing on her phone.  Finally, Rhodey, his blended coffee wrapped in a sleeve secure in his hand, at the opposite head of the table watching Tony with a slight smirk. 

“This is not a drill; my parents are out of town. I know you all ignore me when I get hyped about... well, most things, but this is seriously important,” Tony continued, banging a hand on the table mostly to garner Clint and Janet’s full attention, “For the very first time in our young lives, my father’s blatant disregard of his only heir is paying off. While the Starks are on some business trip in Belgium, the Stark mansion will be empty. Yes, they will 100% find out, and no, they will 100% not care because I have a Stark black card to clean it all up like it never even happened.” 

Tony paused then, looking across the table. He’d managed to snag Janet’s attention away from her phone and Clint’s attention away from whatever horrors lie in his brain. With one eyebrow cocked and a crooked grin on his lips, Tony knew all of his friends were in.   

“Well, obviously I’m in for the free booze. Let me know what I need to bring.” Natasha replied simply, slinging her messenger bag across her body as she stood up and headed to class. Always short and straight to the point, that one. 

“Are we doing catering again or snack foods? Wait, don’t even answer. It’ll be a birthday surprise.” Pepper grabbed her bag and gave Tony a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving for her own class. 

“I’ll be there. I’ll probably be empty-handed, but I’ll be there.” Clint offered as he stood up and gave Tony a finger gun. No one pointed out as he walked away that he didn’t even have a class starting soon. 

“Don’t even worry about begging me. I’m on invites.” Janet grinned widely, shoving her phone in her bag and giving them a little wave before she jogged off. 

Tony beamed as soon as each of his friends solidified his plan. Not that he ever really doubted that they would, but it was still nice to know he had succeeded in his goal for that day. 

“Alright, cinnamon sweets, it’s official. My 21 st birthday is on track. Not surprising because I’m me though.” Tony turned his attention to his best friend, the only one left at the table at this point. He hopped up from his spot and moved to plop down into a spot closer to Rhodey. “Aaaaaannddd... I saved the most important task for my most important friend.” 

“Oh, golly gee, I feel so special already,” Rhodey replied, his tone dripping with sarcasm, but the subtle excitement in his eyes ultimately giving his cover away. Everyone knew Tony Stark could throw a damn good party, and no one knew what exactly Tony was capable of when he put his mind to something like Rhodey did. “Come on, out with it, Stark. What’s the task?” 

“I need you to get the guest list together.” His voice mimicked the serious tone he held when he was forced to justify his project to the school board. “There is literally no way on fucking Earth I’m just letting anyone show up.” Tony furrowed a brow as he gave his friend the mission before easing it up again. “Until I get plastered, then it’s really anyone’s game.” 

“Are there specific criteria for the list or are you fully entrusting me to find the crowd for your first official evening of adulthood?” Rhodey asked, knowing that with Tony it could go either way. He was often an all or nothing kind of guy. 

“The criterion is specific but vague enough for room to be creative,” Tony replied after a brief on the matter. “Obviously our core group of friends is a must, but along with that, I need some new faces. Like not complete strangers, of course, but like… cool acquaintances who also happen to be hot because that is most definitely a stipulation for my guests. Got it?” 

“Yeah, Tones, I got it,” Rhodey laughed and shook his head. It appeared the reason that this was his task was that no one else would have any idea what on Earth Tony had just described. Rhodey, however, completely understood what his friend wanted. “I’ve got a tutoring session in the library I have to get to, but I’ll text you any pressing concerns on my mission.” 

Rhodey stood up at his point, tossing his coffee in the garbage as he did so. He gave Tony a quick hug before departing for his tutoring session. This left Tony alone with a now empty cup of coffee. He sighed softly. He didn’t have his next class for quite a few hours, and god knows where Clint had gone off to. With a dramatic huff, he slung his bag across his shoulder and stood up.  

First order of business, toss the cold brew. Once that was accomplished, the budding engineer took a moment to observe the hustle and bustle of a Monday morning. Tony was in grad school at this point, having easily graduated from the engineering program at MIT at the age of 19. His father had really pressed for him to continue on at MIT, but Tony was impulsive. He had gotten bored, and he fully resented his reputation as “the rich boy genius from MIT”. So, he dipped. It had been a whole ordeal with Howard, resulting in some nice bruises and words he was sure would traumatize him later. He had won though, in the end. He had been able to start anew, gather a nice group of friends who looked at him as more than just the rich genius Stark boy, and it had been worth the trouble. 

Tony thought for a moment before deciding he needed more caffeine before he made his way to his first class in a couple of hours. He turned to head for the café, grabbing his phone out of his pocket and pulling up a group text. He was in the middle of thinking of a clever title for his birthday plan message when he was stopped in his tracks. 

“Tony?” A slightly familiar voice asked from behind him. He recognized the voice as well as one would recognize anyone with an incredible number of mutual friends, but no real experience hanging out together. He spun around, instantly looking up at the taller young man. 

“Steve Rogers.” He nodded, taking in all six feet of the graphic design major. He had to admit he couldn’t think of a single reason why Steve Rogers would be specifically requesting Tony’s presence. “Am I in trouble or something?” 

“What? No. Why would you even...? I have a question for you. First, though, feel free to completely turn me down.” The blond began, instantly piquing Tony’s interest. Tony raised one eyebrow, crossing his arms and looking up at Steve with a half-smile playing on his lips. He nodded, urging the other to go on. “I’m... very close to failing math. Nat said it was possible I could convince you to help me. Something about you having a weakness for tall blonds.” 

Tony couldn’t help but snort. Jesus Christ, Natasha. She wasn’t remotely wrong about the fact, but that was a dirty play to get Tony to help Steve. Tony had been known to refer to the guy as, “boy scout” in the past due to his flawless reputation and almost irritating level of perfection. 

“What math is it?” He asked, his arms still crossed and his eyebrow still raised as he considered his options here. “Not that it’ll particularly matter. I can help regardless.” 

“It’s quantitative reasoning,” Steve said with a heavy sigh. It was almost cute to see him all huffy like that, Tony noted. “I always thought myself a pretty reasonable guy, but this class... I’m not doing so hot. I could really use a genius’s help.” 

“Did Nat also mention to flatter me, and how it’ll get you almost everywhere with me?” Tony couldn’t help but smile as he asked. He didn’t mind the flattering regardless of the intention. 

“Absolutely, she did,” Steve assured. Tony had to respect the honesty at least. “Does that mean you’ll help me? I can keep flattering you if that’ll convince you.” 

“I’ll help you.” Tony found himself agreeing without really thinking too hard about it. Maybe it was those blue eyes that did it, or maybe Natasha really just knew him well enough to guide the other into manipulating him a bit for his help. “I’ll get your number from Nat, and we’ll set up a time. I have a serious engagement with more caffeine right now. See you soon, Rogers.” 

He took note of the triumphant smile on Steve’s face before turning on his heel and beelining for the café. He found that he liked that smile. You know, even if Steve absolutely was a boy scout. 


	2. wishful beginnings

“You are so devious I don’t even know what to say to you,” Tony huffed dramatically, choosing to showcase his trademark theatrics. “You almost make me regret letting you learn things about me, Nat. I should’ve known you, of all people, would use them against me later on.”

_Tuesday. 12pm. Natasha and Pepper._

“Oh, shut up. You’re such a drama queen,” Natasha threw Tony an eye roll that would

annihilate most people’s complaining. Tony, however, was a master of complaining. Very few things could shut him up when he got going. “He needed help, and I know for a fact you won’t mind staring at him. You’re such a slut.”

“That may be completely true, but...” Tony paused and shook his head. “I don’t have a counter for that. I am _such_ a slut.”

“What was that you told me one time that made me almost throw up?” Pepper chimed in, looking up from her textbook. “You couldn’t help it because the world is full of fish and you’re an Alaskan fisherman?”

“Did I really say that?” Tony asked, having very little recollection of that. It sounded like him though. He didn’t doubt it, also, because Pepper never lied to him. “That’s poignant. No wonder I’m considered a genius.”

“You were drunk,” Pepper hummed, turning back to her textbook. “You also told me that you were abandoning science that night and moving onto cryptozoology instead. I don’t know if much of what you said could be taken seriously.”  

“Completely fair,” Tony agreed. “But just imagine my mind, funding, and logical reasoning helping find Nessie. We could easily invent something to look inside the Loch Ness and either prove or disprove -”

“I need you to shut up,” Natasha interjected before Tony could continue any further. “I know that’s hard for you, but sometimes you are way too much for me to listen to.”

Tony shrugged. That was also fair. Nat had little tolerance for bullshit, and Tony had a tendency to slide into bullshit mode when he wasn’t concerned about using his brain.

“Okay, okay. I have a serious problem though. Not fucking around,” He changed his tune a bit. Pepper glanced up, nodding to indicate that she was listening enough to help with his problem. “I was trying to make a birthday group text name before tall, blond, and handsome interrupted me yesterday. I need the help of my favorite redheads.”

The two women thought for a moment, actually actively trying to think of an appropriate group name for the message. It took a few minutes, but Pepper’s face lit up after a moment. She grabbed her phone throwing all of the planning committee into a message before typing out a title. _Tony’s Slutty Soiree._

“Wow, Pep, wow.” Tony couldn’t help but snort with laughter. “You two really want to push this narrative, huh?” After a moment though, he smiled. “I like it. I appreciate, and no pun intended, the stark nature of it.”

“You losers better not spam me, okay?” Nat insisted as she saw the group message pop up on her phone. “Actually, I’m putting it on mute right now. I know for a fact you’re gonna spam the shit out of me. I’ll check it periodically.”

 “I can accept that. That’s… pretty on brand for you really.” Tony said with a little shrug. Nat was one of their closest friends, but she kept a respectable distance with a lot of her personal life. There was rarely a time when it was easy to tell how Natasha felt unless she was angry. “Well, I have to say goodbye to my favorite redheads to go tutor one of said redheads’ friends.”

“Be nice to him, Stark,” Nat said, her tone holding a warning note to it. “He’s a nice guy, and I don’t want him complaining to me about how terrible you are.”  
“It hurts me that you think I’m inclined to be terrible,” Tony pouted as he grabbed his bag and stood up. “I’ll be a perfect gentleman to Mr. Goody Two Shoes.”

“You’d better be. I’ll get a full report from him later.” Nat narrowed her eyes before offering a tiny smile.

“Bye, guys.” Tony waved softly as he grabbed his coffee and headed for the library. He honestly had no idea how this was going to go. He didn’t have enough personal experience with Steve to gauge how to even begin tutoring him. That being said, he _is_ Tony Stark and was known for his charisma. Charming people into liking him had never been a problem.

When he walked in the library, he looked around for the blond’s large stature. It was probably the easiest way to spot him. There weren’t many college guys who could boast Charles Atlas proportions. Like he had guessed, it was easy to spot Steve sitting at a corner table.

“Hey, big guy. How goes it?” He asked cheerily as he sat at the table and set his bag down. He grabbed a notebook and some pencils to begin.

“Oh, hey,” Steve looked up, looking a bit surprised. He had been engrossed in something when Tony sat down. The brunet decided he could be a little nosy and glance over at whatever the other man had been working on. It was a sketchbook filled with admittedly well-drawn doodles. That made sense; graphic design major and all. “Sorry, let me grab my stuff. I can get so easily sucked into drawing.”

“You’re talking to the guy who once spent 23 straight hours in a workshop working on the programming of one bot,” Tony snorted. “If anyone understands getting engrossed in their work, it’s me.”

That elicited a small smile from Steve. Okay, good sign. They had a few things in common which made this a lot less awkward from the jump.

“Alright, hit me with your homework,” Tony requested once Steve had securely stashed his sketchbook away and replaced it with his math binder. He flipped to what they were working on at the moment and slid it across from Tony. The engineer looked over it for a second and waved his hand. “Easy stuff for me. You’ll not only start understanding it after working with me, you’ll fucking _ace_ it.”  
“Is that the Stark guarantee?” Steve asked with a cheeky grin. Tony liked that sassy little grin. It was much less boy scout than what he was used to in regards to Steve Rogers.

“Definitely is. They don’t call me boy wonder for nothing,” Tony smirked right back as he grabbed a pencil. “Hold on, lemme sit next to you. It’ll be easier.”

Tony moved over, grabbing the binder and his stuff. He settled into the seat next to Steve, angling himself so he could easily write and begin to explain whatever concepts the blond was confused on.

“So, let’s start simply. Lemme go over exactly what the goal here is.” Tony began. He had always been good at explaining things to other people. A lot of Tony’s work needed Stark Industries funding which meant he had to convince tons of committees to actually _approve_ of his projects. Howard never helped with that; claiming that Stark men had to be able to handle that kind of thing on their own. Tony was set to inherit the company after all.

Over the years, he’d gotten pretty great at explaining complex things on a level that normal people could understand. It was something a lot of people didn’t expect of him. He could easily simplify complex ideas to where committees would be intrigued enough to fund him without being completely lost.

“Is any of this clicking more?” Tony asked after about fifteen minutes of trying to outline some basic concepts and ideas.

“Actually, it’s clicking better than it has in any class,” Steve admitted, nodding. “You’re much better at working with us normal, stupid folks than I would’ve thought.”

“Shut up,” Tony countered immediately, shaking his head. “I resent that notion. Everyone always assumes I’m cocky about the whole ‘boy genius’ thing, but I absolutely hate it most of the time. I make jokes about it to reclaim it.”

“And why’s that?” Steve inquired, looking at Tony with genuine curiosity. Tony set his pencil down and looked at the other.

“When I built my first circuit board, I was four years old. I remember it vividly because my father, instead of being proud of his fucking toddler, told me everything that was _wrong_ with said circuit board,” Tony shook his head. “From that point onwards, I was constantly working on projects and tech to try and improve what I had started. I guess my point is that I was expected to be a genius the moment I was born because of my genetics.”

He paused after that. That all kind of just came spilling out without Tony really meaning for it to. He normally wasn’t the type to divulge personal information to people he barely knew, but Steve had seemed genuinely curious and was listening intently. Most people just asked him questions to be nosy, learn more about his famous family, or because of some obligation.

“I guess my point is that when you’re expected to be a certain way for a long time that’s _all_ that people see,” He summed up, grabbing his pencil again. “That’s why I left MIT. All the people there saw me come in at sixteen and that was it. I was forever labeled as the ‘Stark prodigy’,” He shook his head, not wanting to get into it too deeply now. “Come on, back to math.”  
Steve looked over at Tony for a moment, his blue eyes filled with some sort of emotion. It took Tony a moment to figure out exactly what it was. At first, he assumed it would be pity or some sort of sadness, but he realized that wasn’t it at all. It was some sort of respectful expression. He didn’t get those from his peers very often.

“Back to math.” Steve nodded, grabbing his own pencil again and following Tony along as best he could. He wasn’t really bad at math after all, he just needed someone to explain it in a way that he could understand. Steve wasn’t an idiot by any means; he was an eager and quick learner.

“Well, that’s our hour,” Tony said once they’d finished up Steve’s homework for that day. “I have to say… You’re not bad company even if we’re doing math homework.”

“Thank you for your help, seriously,” Steve said as he began to pack his things up. He had a soft, appreciative smile on his face when he looked back up at Tony though. “You’re not bad company either. You’re a lot more down to earth than I thought.”

“See? Everyone buys into the Stark genius brat thing,” He shrugged and shoved his own stuff back in his bag. “I just assume everyone thinks of me like that, and sometimes I go with it. Most people aren’t worth the time to prove otherwise.”

“So what then? That means I’m worth the time?” Steve asked with a half smile as he threw his bag over his shoulder.

“If you’d have asked me yesterday, I might’ve said no. You kind of come off as a goody two-shoes,” Tony answered. Steve opened his mouth to protest, but Tony interrupted him before he had the chance. “But I actually enjoyed spending time with you today. Where’s your next class? I’ll walk you.”

Tony wasn’t really sure why he offered that, but it just kinda happened. He liked talking to Steve well enough, and he wasn’t bad to look at either. Nat truly knew his weaknesses. That was for damn sure. He stood up, watching as Steve did the same. He had to crane his neck to even properly look up at the other man.

“Yeah, sure. That sounds nice,” Steve smiled and nodded, heading for the door of the library. Tony walked beside him as they stepped out into the sunlight. “You sure your reputation won’t get ruined if you’re seen with such a goody-two shoes?”

“If Natasha is still seen as badass after hanging out with you, I guess I don’t have much to lose,” Tony nudged the blond playfully. “Besides, you make good eye candy. I’ll give you that.”

“Oh, please. I was told you were a flirt.” Steve rolled his eyes, but there was also a soft blush on his cheeks which was absurdly pretty against his pale skin.

“My reputation precedes me, sure, but don’t believe everything you hear.” Tony shrugged. He sometimes (almost always) hated that everyone assumed they knew him before they met him. It was the curse of being a Stark.

“I won’t,” Steve assured, shoving his hands in his pocket a little awkwardly. “A lot of people also seem to think you’re a huge jerk, so I can already see that’s not true.”

“Yeah, I’m just a little bit of a jerk. Not huge.” Tony smirked, stopping as they reached the building Steve needed. “Alright, well. Here you are. I did my gentlemanly duties of dropping you off.”

“Thank you, Tony. Seriously.” Steve said with genuine gratefulness in his tone. “I think I actually may have a chance of not bombing this math class because of you.”

“What can I say? I’m a man of the people; just trying my best to keep everyone afloat,” He smiled softly. “Good luck. I’ll see you Thursday. Same time, same place.” Without thinking, he shot Steve a one-handed finger gun and immediately regretted it. Steve responded with a snort and a small wave.

“What the fuck?” Tony mumbled under his breath with a groan as he walked away. “Why would I even do that? Who _am_ I?"


	3. a rain check on pain

“Maybe… no, no. That’s fucking stupid.” Tony shook his head, his brow deeply furrowed and his face covered in grease. “Dum-E, come here. Hand me that screwdriver. No, not that one. Oh my god, the one right fucking next to it.”

_ Wednesday. 6pm. Howard’s workshop. Dum-E. _

Tony snatched the, finally, correct screwdriver from Dum-E. He was getting frustrated quickly. The project he was working on was not going well; at least not well by his standards. Maybe his standards were a little higher than most, but he had gotten accustomed to that. He  _ was _ , as people always told him, a boy genius.

“Should I just give up on this?” He sighed and looked at his bot. Dum-E beeped sadly at him, moving his claw back and forth as if shaking his head. “Yeah, I know. I just wanted to make sure we were still in this together.”

Tony grabbed his blueprints, looking over them again. He must’ve done something wrong here. It was at the point where he needed to start from square one. He sat at his work desk and began to reevaluate his initial plans. You had to be flexible if you were both an engineer and the future of the world’s largest tech conglomerate. 

He was knee-deep in reconceiving said plans when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He initially tried to ignore it until it just wouldn’t stop. Phone calls, ugh. The worst.

“What?” He answered as he yanked the phone out of his pocket without even looking at the name. 

“Nice to talk to you too, Tones.” Rhodey’s voice chimed in from the other end, dripping with sarcasm. 

“I’m working on a project that is absolutely kicking my ass, and I didn’t look at the contact name when my phone rang. Sue me.” He replied with just as much sarcasm. He shoved his phone down and put it on speakerphone so he could continue working. “Why are you calling me of all things? What can’t be discussed over text?”

“You know, most people don’t realize how lucky I am to be your best friend. I get all the love and appreciation in the world.” Rhodey countered, the sarcasm still oozing from his tone. 

“Oh my god, spit it out, honey bear,” Tony whined as he furiously erased a design that he now realized was entirely dumb and probably the cause of all his troubles. “I have to get this done before my dad comes home and kicks me out.”

“Jesus, okay. I’m working on your guest list. The one I graciously agreed to make for you because I’m a damn good friend,” Rhodey said. Tony grunted back in acknowledgement. “I have some questions. One, are we inviting people you’ve gotten in verbal fights with but count as hot partygoers? Two, is there a number limit? Three, should I invite Steve Rogers?”

“I have some answers. One, no because drunk Tony will attempt another fight. No one wants that. Two, the mansion can comfortably house about 120 partygoers. Keep it in that range,” He paused and thought on that last one. “Three, I have doubts he would ever show up to a party much less mine, but yes. He’s good eye candy.”

“Alright, noted,” Rhodey said with a new determination in his tone. “Don’t kill yourself working, Stark. Try to eat something before the end of the day. I’ll text you later.”

“Bye, sugar lump.” Tony mumbled as he hit the end call button on his phone. He did have serious doubts that inviting Steve was even worth it, but hey, it certainly couldn’t hurt if the blond did end up showing up. He’d truly like to see the boy scout get drunk and maybe let loose a little bit. 

He buried his nose back in the blueprints, the hours easily slipping away. He unintentionally disregarded what Rhodey had said, not eating any food even as it got dark outside. Not that he could see the light of day stuck in the workshop, but it was a solid 9pm until he was brought back to reality. He heard a door upstairs slam and then some clunky walking. Dear old Dad was home. He sighed. Okay, that brought him back.

He began to clean up his things, shoving his newest project in a secluded corner so his father wouldn’t complain about it being in the way. He rolled the blueprint up and tucked it under his arm as he told Dum-E to roll back to his corner and go to bed. The bot powered off, waiting until Tony returned next. He made sure everything was in its place before heading upstairs. 

The young man heard the clink of a glass in the other room. His father’s study. If he played it cool, he could make his way upstairs without alerting his dad to his existence for the night. That was always easier.

He crept towards the other side of the house, towards the stairs that led to his room. He was almost there when he was stopped by a voice.

“Mister Stark?” Tony almost jumped out of his skin as Jarvis addressed him.

“Jesus, Jarvis. You almost gave me a heart attack,” He breathed out, his heart pounding heavily. “What’s up? I was just about to head to bed.”

“I was going to see if you wanted a snack before then,” Jarvis offered, his eyes kind and genuinely concerned. “I noticed you haven’t eaten all evening.”

“Oh yeah, uh, thanks, J. I’m good though,” Tony smiled softly. His anxiety from avoiding his father had further taken his appetite away. “I will take some breakfast in the morning though if you don’t mind. Maybe pancakes?”  
“As you wish, Mister Stark.” Jarvis nodded, offering a smile before heading off. He was the best really. What kind of amazing butler noticed when you didn’t eat? Jarvis. That’s what kind.

Tony finally made it upstairs, feeling relief as he was able to shut and lock the door and collapse on his bed. His dad would likely be up late drinking and possibly working on business. If Tony was unlucky, he would get caught in the whirlwind of Howard. It was best just to stay upstairs and hide until Howard was sober or gone. The latter was the safest bet and more likely to happen. 

He put his blueprints safe in his desk, suddenly too tired to work on them anymore. Stressing like that was truly exhausting. He changed into a comfortable band shirt and pajama pants before collapsing back on his bed. He wasn’t sure it was bedtime just yet, but it certainly wasn’t work time anymore. He looked at his phone screen before getting an idea. He quirked an eyebrow as he did. Maybe it was crazy? Maybe it wasn’t. It was worth a shot at the very least. He found Steve’s number in his contact; graciously provided by Natasha. He had to think of something to send that wasn’t totally obnoxious. Something that would warrant a reply.

_ What do you think about holographic flashcards? I was working on some new hologram technology and think I could perfect it in time to help study for your final. TS _

And now the waiting game began. An innocent study question that could easily illicit a response, right? Tony definitely didn’t have time to evaluate why he wanted to text  _ Steve _ of all people, but he wasn’t always so great at self-control. He’d gotten the idea, and that was that. 

_ I think I would be so interested in looking at them, it could help my studying. You’d better work out the kinks. I’m sold. SR _

Okay, good sign. Conversational text, long enough to count as a true response, fairly quick response too. All signs that Steve might actually want to talk to him.

_ Then it’s a done deal, Rogers. I just have to work a little bit more on the tech. May be a couple of weeks, but I will get you those holographic flashcards before finals. Scout’s honor. TS _

_ Oh yeah? Who’s the boy scout now? SR _

_ I’m just trying to speak a language that you understand, buddy. TS _

_ You know I’m not just a perfect altar boy, right? I know you joke, but it’s important to me that you actually know that. SR _

_ Okay, then tell me more. Tell me how you’re not a perfect little altar boy. Maybe I’ll buy it then. TS _

_ I used to pick fights all the time. It was a terrible habit. Bucky would have to pull me off of people or pick me up off the ground constantly. Mind you, this was when I was 100 pounds and five feet tall. I rarely ever won the fights. Actually, I may have never won one. Who remembers? I probably got dozens of undiagnosed concussions. SR _

_Damn, Rogers. I’m impressed. Tell me about these guys you were fighting then. You fight hardened criminals? Thugs? Heathens? TS_ _  
__Ha, not quite. Just assholes who were often picking on others or me. Regular guys being shitty. Bullies. I hate seeing that. SR_

_ Guess you’re kind of a knight in shining armor then; even if sometimes it was just for yourself. TS _

_ Hey, I couldn’t defend other little guys if I let those jerks pick on me. It was a selfless, selfish act at the end of the day. SR _

_ You’re a lot more sarcastic than I would’ve guessed. I thought you’d be all business and maybe some puns. TS _

_ Puns? Seriously? You thought I’d make dad jokes constantly and blush if you said a swear word? SR _

_ Uh, yeah. Pretty much. That’s the vibe I always got off of you. TS _

_ Wow, Stark, wow. Way to hit me with some stereotypes before even getting to know me. That’s cruel, Tony, cruel. SR _

_ Hey now, slow your roll. You thought I was an asshole before you even met me. You admitted that yesterday! You need to get off that high horse of yours, and we can both admit we jumped to conclusions way too soon. TS _

_ Fair enough. Truce? SR _

_Yeah, yeah. Truce. You do okay on your homework? TS_ _  
__Best grade I’ve gotten all semester. Has anyone ever told you that you’re a genius? Is this new information to you? SR_

_ Oh, shit. Am I a genius? Wait, seriously? You think I could be a genius? I’m honored; flattered really. I think I’ll have to get some second, third, and fourth opinions, but you could be onto something. TS _

_ Your sarcasm is next level, Stark. I can feel it through the damn phone. How do you do that? How do you text with such sharp sarcasm? Seriously, it’s a skill. SR _

_Years and years of practice, sweetheart. The more you talk to me, the more you can work on that skill. TS_ _  
__Guess I’ll just have to keep talking to you then, huh? SR_ _  
___Seems like it. I’m saving your ass in math, and you need to work on your sharp tongue skills. It’s a win-win for you. You’re also fun to text on my end. TS

_So, everyone wins. SR_ _  
___Everyone wins is the kind of plan I like to see. If anything, I’m a winner. It comes with the last name but also the great hair. You can’t have hair like mine without being a winner. TS

_ I bet you can afford $500 haircuts though, right? Is that how rich people get haircuts? With a massage and a deep condition and a complimentary drink? Meanwhile us regular folks go to the barber down the road for $15 and call it a day. SR _

_ Oh, we actually shampoo my hair with gold-infused shampoo before I’m given a bowl of the most expensive caviar. After that, we rinse my hair in bottled water imported from Italy before we move onto the actual haircut. It’s a normal Saturday for me really. TS _

_ Do your hairstylists have to be classically trained in France? SR _

_ Oh, naturally. You have to have the proper certifications. TS _

_That’s good to know. Maybe when I win the lottery, you can give me your stylist’s number. Until then, $15 seems to be my budget. SR_ _  
__I’ll keep an eye out for your text after the whole lottery thing. TS_

_ I’ll keep you posted. I have to head to bed. I’m exhausted. See you tomorrow at 1pm? SR _

_ It’s a date :) TS _

 

Tony set his phone on the charger and laid back in his bed with a smile. Okay, he had been wrong about Steve. Steve was a nice guy, and he wasn’t so vanilla like the engineer had thought. He was kind of charming in a dorky way. Tony fell asleep wondering what else he could coax out of Steve Rogers that he might like.

He woke up four hours later to hear loud yelling and a crash of some sort. He blinked away and rubbed at his eyes as he instinctively swung his legs over his bed.

“Anthony Stark, get down here right now!” His father’s voice boomed from across the mansion; presumably in his study. Another loud noise like a book being thrown. Fuck.

“I’m coming!” Tony called out as he ran a shaky hand through his hair. He jogged down the stairs as his heart rate picked up substantially. Fuck. He padded into the study, his demeanor and posture timid. “Yeah? What’s up?”

“I told you that if you’re going to use the workshop, you have to keep it clean. Did I not?” Howard asked as he shot daggers at Tony with his eyes. The glass in his hand was nearly empty, and it was clear it was not his first of the night. Fuck.

“Yes, sir. You did,” Tony replied softly, fidgeting with his hands. “I thought that I -”

“You thought wrong, Anthony,” Howard stepped closer to him and set his drink down on the desk. “You left screwdrivers everywhere, nuts and bolts all over the floor, blueprint papers a complete mess…”

“It won’t happen again, okay? I’m sorry.” Tony insisted as he furrowed his brow. His tone was reaching near huffy levels, and he couldn’t seem to stop it. Sometimes his lack of filter did not do him well.

“Don’t talk back to me,” Howard hissed, just like Tony knew he would. He always did the same shit when he was like this, and he never remembered it the next morning. Next up usually came the… “You never learn.” slap across the cheek. Never a soft slap either, always a hard solid, near bone-crunching slap. 

“I’m sorry, dad. I swear…” Tony replied, his tone quiet to avoid anymore stinging injuries for the day. “I’m sorry. I’ll clean it up.” 

“Damn right you will. Now get out.” Howard pointed towards the door as he grabbed his glass with his free hand. 

Tony scrambled out the door, counting his blessings that it wasn’t worse that night. It had been much worse before when Tony had caught a more vicious attitude. He just… he didn’t want any more bruises than he had to endure. 

He cleaned up the lab, shutting off the lights before heading back upstairs. He inspected his face in the mirror and could already see the bruise blossoming on his cheekbone. He’d worry about it in the morning. He had his stash of concealer in his bathroom. He flopped back into bed and slept restlessly the remainder of the night.


	4. can't we give ourselves one more chance?

“Oh my god, stop it. You’ve never seen classic _ Star-trek _ ? That’s a fucking crime against humanity, Steven.” Tony huffed and rolled his eyes. “Do you only watch  _ The Brady Bunch _ or something?”

_ Thursday. 1pm. The library. Steve Rogers. _

“There’s absolutely no reason to knock classic television because I’m not a sci-fi guy!” Steve huffed right back, his lower lip jutting out a bit. It was cute. His lower lip was pouty and plump, and it was accentuated when he did that. “I grew up on  _ I Love Lucy _ and  _ Happy Days _ with my mom, thank you very much.”

“I’m not denying there’s a place for classic television in everyone’s watch history, but didn’t you ever watch  _ The Twilight Zone _ ?” Tony asked, an eyebrow quirked. “There’s so much good classic Sci-fi you’ve been neglecting. I’m making you watch it. End of discussion.”

“Oh, yeah?” Steve laughed and shook his head. “Is that a threat or a promise?”

“It’s absolutely both, and you should know that,” Tony replied emphatically. He was waving his pencil around in the air with great gusto as he razzed Steve for the gaps in his television history. “I swear to you, I will force you to watch classic Sci-fi movies and shows even if I have to tie you to a chair and hold your eyes open.”

“That’s graphic, Tony,” Steve tried to frown, but it was obvious that he was still amused by Tony’s descriptions; however graphic they may be. “Have you considered that not everyone is a science nerd like you?”

“I should let you fail math just for completely missing that  _ A Clockwork Orange _ reference. Also for calling me a nerd,” Tony threatened, glancing down at the pile of math homework they had admittedly been neglecting. This was important stuff though. Steve had never seen  _ 2001: A Space Odyssey, _ and it would be downright cruel for Tony not to introduce him to all the stuff he had been missing. “You’re so bad at math you probably wouldn’t notice if I taught you everything completely wrong.”

“I came to you for help, and you make fun of me? In my time of need? Wow, Stark,” Steve shook his head with a look of disappointment on his face. “That’s low.”

“First of all, Natasha came to me for your help,” Tony pointed out. “Apparently, I’m intimidating to some people. Who would guess?”

“Right. No one would think that the genius kid with billions of dollars and tons of confidence would be intimidating,” Steve rolled his eyes. “Especially to some dorky art kid from the poorest neighborhood in Brooklyn.”

“Oh, hush,” Tony waved the thought away with his hand. “There’s definitely a lot you don’t know about me that would make me less intimidating.” 

“Like the fact that you love  _ Star-Trek  _ so much?” Steve teased with one eyebrow quirked as he looked at Tony. 

“Yeah, like that,” Tony gave the blond a small smile, his brain having gone elsewhere.  _ Like if you knew I can’t stand up to my dad and am wearing concealer right now to cover a pathetic bruise.  _ “Come on, let’s finish your homework at least.”

“You’re right, yeah.” Steve nodded, grabbing his previously abandoned pencil and turning to focus on the worksheet before them. Tony began explaining, trying to push whatever sad thoughts had weaseled their way into his brain. He liked spending time with Steve; at least study time. Steve likely wasn’t the kind of guy who’d get close to Tony Stark. Maybe he could convince the blond to come over for a move night, but once he saw the mansion Tony worried Steve would be further intimidated. Or God forbid Howard make an appearance and completely expose Tony’s shameful home life. There was most certainly a reason he only had people over when his father was out of town. 

It didn’t take them much longer to finish up Steve’s homework. Tony was good at explaining it to the other, getting a better feel for Steve’s personality as they talked. In turn, he was able to tailor his tutoring methods to best help him understand. It seemed to work well enough to where Steve gave Tony a blinding, genuine smile as they finished up his last bit of homework and he seemed to actually get it by the end. 

“How are you so good at this?” Steve asked with a shake of his head as he set his pencil down and leaned back in his seat.

“Math? There’s a few reasons. The first being I’m an engineer, and it’s -”

“No, the tutoring.” He elaborated as he began to pack his things away in his bag again. “You don’t do this often, right?”

“If by not often, you mean absolutely never, you are correct,” Tony replied with a soft chuckle, grabbing his own stuff and shoving it away. He reached up to brush some hair off his face before speaking again. “However, I do talk to my bot a lot and explain to him how to do simple, helpful tasks. Maybe that counts as practice.”

“Hey, what happened?” Steve asked as he reached over to brush his finger over Tony’s cheekbone gently. Tony felt a shiver run down his spine before he felt panic settle in his stomach. Shit, he had managed to rub the concealer away and reveal the stupid fucking bruise.

“Oh, lab accident,” He answered quickly, lying easily. It wasn’t like he hadn’t done this a thousand times before; covering his ass and Howard’s ass simultaneously. “My bot hit me in the face trying to grab a screwdriver.” Pretty believable for a last minute excuse.

“Ouch,” Steve commented, giving no indication that he didn’t buy the falsity. Thank god. Tony could never let anyone find out about his home situation. Even Rhodey didn’t know about it, and Rhodey knew nearly everything about Tony. “Guess that would mean reprogramming it…?”

“You trying to talk about tech with me is cute, Tony said genuinely, smiling softly. “Dum-E just missed the mark. He’s a clumsy guy sometimes. We’re working on it.” That wasn’t even a lie. 

“So, he has a personality of some sort?” Steve asked, looking at Tony with genuine interest. 

“Yeah, definitely,” Tony nodded, setting his bag in the chair beside him. “I’m working on some other bots, but they’re still in the early stages. Dum-E was my first bot I ever built, so he’s not the most advanced thing in the world. He’s useful, sure, but he’s mostly just helpful for handing me things and holding a fire extinguisher. Sometimes he gets excited with the extinguisher though.”

“I think it’s sweet that you call the bot a ‘he’,” Steve commented, smiling a bit before glancing down. “Your work means a lot to you, huh?”

“Some of it, yeah. Building bots, working on tech to better society, and this whole clean energy thing I’ve been working on,” He listed off quickly. “I’m very passionate about those. Some of them aren’t as important to me. A lot of the the ones I have to do to keep my funding from my father and justify my work to the school are bullshit. It’s just shit that a bunch of old businessman think is phenomenal, but it’s just work for me. I have no passion for it.”

“I understand that to an extent,” Steve agreed, looking back up at his tutor. “Some of the projects they make me do for my classes are… boring. It’s just something to get a grade. I usually get good grades, sure, but it’s not the kind of things I put my heart and soul into. If I’m being honest, which I am, graphic design isn’t even what I care about. It’s just the most feasible way for me to make a career out of art.”

“What are you passionate about then?” Tony asked with a quirk of his eyebrow. He had to admit he was intrigued.

“I like drawing and painting more than the computer stuff,” He said with a little nod and a half smile. “That was always my real passion, but everyone told me the chances of making that a career were slim. They weren’t wrong, so I chose graphic design. It’s close enough to what I like, but I find it kind of boring really.”

“That sucks,” Tony said with a frown. “I hate that. I always did. People are such dicks about art students. I know it’s a stereotype that us STEM assholes think art students are idiots, but I never did. My mom really likes art, and she used to bring me to museums all the time when I was younger.”

“Really? That’s surprising. I thought the boy wonder would have spent all his time at science museums or traveling the world.” Steve teased with a cheeky grin.

“Don’t get me wrong, I did lots of that.” Tony laughed softly. “But my mom wanted me to be well-rounded. When I was younger at least, she did. Not so much anymore, but it did give me a mild appreciation for art.”

“Well, that’s a surprising Tony Stark fact,” Steve grinned. “Maybe I’ll show you my drawings sometime to see if you appreciate them.”

“I’d actually love to see them. You’ll have to show me when we have our Sci-fi movie marathon I already decided we’re having.” Tony offered with a hopeful look. He just decided to casually slide that in and hope for the best.

“Oh yeah? When are we doing that?” Steve had that grin still playing on his lips as he asked. That was promising. 

“Whatcha doing this weekend?” Might as well get this going soon. He knew he would get teased for it by Nat later but fuck it. 

“I don’t know if anyone told you, but my social life is nonexistent. I was going to cook dinner with my mom and watch HGTV with her,” Steve snorted, shaking his head. “I think I can find time in my itinerary to come over.”

“Nice. Friday or Saturday work better for you?” Tony had to admit he was pretty damn excited to have the guy over. He liked him a whole lot more than he thought he would. 

“Let’s do Friday. I get off class around 2pm so I have the whole afternoon and evening to marathon with you.” Steve offered, glancing at his watch as he said so.

“I have nothing tomorrow. I usually just use Fridays as lab time,” Tony agreed, knowing Steve had class soon. “Come on. Let’s walk and talk on the way to your class.”

He grabbed his own bag and waited for the tall blond to do the same so they could exit the library. They walked out into the sun which, damn, Steve’s eyes always looked gorgeous in the sun. They were a brighter blue than Tony’s own eyes which were more of a light sky blue. Steve’s eyes were piercing though; one might call them azure.

“Okay, so tomorrow we meet up at 3pm,” Tony began to set out the plan, trying to keep from rambling. He had the tendency to do that when he was excited about something. “I’ll provide popcorn, candy, and dinner eventually. Likely pizza because fuck it, let’s abuse our bodies while we’re young. I’ll set up all the movies. We’ll use my home theater. Wear something comfortable because we are watching as many as we can before you have to go home. Do you have a curfew?”

“It’s tentative. Ma trusts me,” Steve said with a shrug, a grin of pure amusement on his lips as Tony set out the plan and admittedly began rambling excitedly. “I’ll let her know it may last late. I don’t have a car though… You might have to bring me home.”

“I can do that,” Tony nodded. “I’ll pick you up from campus whenever you’re out of class. Just text me. Then we can go to the store and get snacks before heading to my house.”

They stopped in front of the building for Steve’s class, and Steve turned to face Tony. He smiled widely, “It’s a date then. I’ll see you tomorrow after class. We’ll have a great time, I already know.”

“See you tomorrow, Stevie.” Tony grinned right back and waved before heading off. He had to admit there were some butterflies of excitement in his stomach for the following day.


	5. new feeling inside, it's a hot certain kind

“Ew, that’s so boring. What the fuck, Steve? At least get salt and vinegar,” Tony wrinkled his nose as Steve reached for a bag of plain lays and onion dip. “Or barbecue, for Christ’s sake! Don’t be a caveman.”

_ Friday. 2:45pm. The nearest bodega. Steve Rogers. _

“It’s a classic!” Steve protested as he frowned heavily and crossed his arms. “Are you telling me you also don’t like tortilla chips and salsa?”  
“I’m telling you if you’re going potato chip, plain lays are boring as hell. You want to eat some unseasoned boiled chicken while you’re at it?” Tony shook his head and grabbed a handful of various flavored chips. They filled all of his arms. “You have to grab candy now, but don’t get fucking white chocolate or some shit.”

“What on Earth do you have against white chocolate?” Steve cried out desperately. He felt thoroughly attacked in his snack choices. “I was going to get cookies and cream.”  
“How do I know you so well already?” Tony rolled his eyes as they made their way to the candy aisle. “White chocolate is an abomination. It’s not even _chocolate_ , Steve. It’s a lie. Have you ever even tried Swiss chocolate or Belgian chocolate?”  
“Uh, no. I’m a kid from Brooklyn, Stark,” Steve reminded as he glanced at the candy options in front of them. “I usually grab a Hershey’s bar and call it a day.”

“That’s so sad,” Tony shook his head. “I’ll get you some soon. You haven’t really tried chocolate if you haven’t tried  _ real _ chocolate. Hershey’s is great, but this is a whole new world.”

“Well, what candy do you approve of?” Steve waved his hand in front of the aisles.

“For bodega candy? Easy.” Tony grinned and winked. “You need to get the watermelon Sour Patch Kids, some Red Vines, a handful of Snickers, a healthy helping of Reese’s, skittles, and whatever you want that isn’t white chocolate.”

“Jesus, Tony, are you planning on putting yourself into a sugar coma?” Steve laughed as he grabbed all of the candy Tony was listing off before snagging a few chocolates for himself. “You might die before we can even get to a second movie.”

“Oh, this is a stash, Steven,” Tony explained as they headed to the register. “You see, there’s no feasible way we can get through all of the movies and shows we need to in one day. Therefore, we have to make this a weekly occurrence. Steve and Tony’s Friday Sci-Fi Bonanza. Don’t even protest because I know you have no life.”

“I have no problem with that,” Steve agreed as he set down the candy. He watched as Tony took out his card and paid before they were handed a good few bags. Steve took most of them like the gentleman he was. “I like routines.”

“Of course you do,” Tony snorted, shaking his head as he led the way to his car. He shoved all the snacks in the back before climbing in the driver’s seat. “The only exception to our new tradition is my birthday weekend. May 29th. I’m throwing the best party of the entire decade.”

“Is that so?” Steve asked as he buckled up. Tony drove off the second Steve was ready; speeding as he almost always did. “Am I invited?”

“Definitely, but I assumed you wouldn’t want to go,” Tony glanced over at the blond curiously. Maybe he had been wrong when he told Rhodey that. “It’s going to be full of booze and drugs and horny people. Is that your scene?”  
“Not at all,”  Steve admitted before offering a little shrug. “But I’ve got to give you your birthday present and wish you a happy birthday. I might stop by for a bit.”

“Aw, you’re getting me a present?” Tony held his right hand over his heart and side-eyed Steve with a half smile. “That’s adorable.”

“It’s a combination ‘thank you for saving my math grade and also happy birthday’ present,” Steve elaborated. “I’m broke, so it’s nothing fancy, but you’ll like it. Also, I couldn’t get you anything you couldn’t get for yourself, so this is better.”

“Well, I’m excited to see it.” Tony said with no teasing to his tone and only genuine truth. He pulled down Fifth Avenue and headed toward his Upper East Side family mansion. He hoped it wasn’t too ridiculous for Steve to still like Tony. He pulled into his house, entering the gate code on his phone before driving in and opening the garage. He parked his car amongst his dad’s handful of sports cars before hopping out and grabbing the bags. 

He glanced over and immediately caught the look on Steve’s face. It was pure shock. He looked around at all the cars in the garage and slowly shut the door on Tony’s own car. He stared out at the yard as the garage closed and shook his head.

“I knew you were rich, but I… was not prepared for this,” He admitted, reaching to grab some of the bags. “I’ve never seen so many fancy cars in my life. Shit, these cars are worth more than my whole life.”

“Oh, shut up,” Tony mumbled, walking towards the door and unlocking it with his free hand. “These are just a way for my dad to show off his money and get hard over tech. I have to admit I like fancy cars too, but my dad is totally annoying about it. Close your mouth, your jaw is hanging open.”

“Very funny,” Steve reminded as they went inside. Tony became hyper-aware of the opulence in his house in every aspect. He didn’t think twice about it most days, but with Steve here he could see how ridiculous it might all be. 

“Get used to it, Stevie pie. I’m spoiling you from now on,” Tony glanced over at Steve and led him upstairs to their home theater. “You’ll be spending at least one day a week here anyway. It’ll become part of your normal soon enough.”  
“Not sure about that one, but we’ll see,” Steve mumbled as he looked around the home theater they’d just walked into. He set the bags down on the bar counter just as Tony did and walked over to the chairs. “These look comfy. This screen is massive too… It’ll be like a real movie theater but just for us.”

“That’s the idea. We have popcorn I can make too,” Tony offered as he began to take all the snacks out and lay them across the counter. “Do you want a drink? I have booze, of course, but also sodas and juice.”

“Uh, I’m not much of a drinker, let’s go with a soda.” Steve responded, taking out the candy and laying it out on the counter. When Tony offered him a soda, he gratefully accepted it and took a sip once all the snacks were out.

“Okay, let’s see,” Tony clapped his hands together. “I think we should start off with  _ The Day the Earth Stood Still _ . It’s a full-on classic. It’s from the 50s and was one of the first great Sci-Fi movies. It inspired a lot of the other ones we’re gonna watch.”

“Sounds good to me. You’re the expert after all,” Steve agreed, grabbing one of the chip bags and some candy to take over to the seats. He sat in it and hummed contentedly. “These are ridiculously comfortable. I could stay here all day.”

“Good because you will be,” Tony teased as he pulled up the movie, shut off the lights, and grabbed his own snacks. He hopped in the chair next to Steve, reclining back a little and looking over at Steve in excitement. He couldn’t help but notice how nice Steve’s profile looked with the light of the movie projector reflecting off of his jawline and cheekbones. He also couldn’t help but stare just a little bit too long at the other.

“What?” Steve asked as he looked over with a little grin on his face. “I got something on my face?”

“No, no,” Tony shook his head. “I just want to see your reactions. Also, you have a damn good jawline. You know that? Sharp as a knife.”

“Oh, hush,” Steve nudged Tony in the side, but Tony sure didn’t miss the subtle pink flush that fell over his friend’s face at the compliment. He liked that; that blush. He could get used to seeing it more. “Yours isn’t so bad yourself.”

“Hey, look at that!” Tony put his candy down to give Steve light applause. “Rogers knows how to casually flirt. I’m proud of you, buddy.”

“Oh my god…” Steve buried his face in his hands as it flushed a deeper red. “You’re ridiculous.” His words were muffled as his head was in his hands.

“Watch the movie, you idiot. We’re here for a reason,” He reached over and ruffled his hand in Steve’s hair. Wow, that was soft. It was silky and soft and exactly what you’d expect a Greek god of a man’s hair to feel like. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve huffed as he moved his hands and directed his eyes to the screen. “You’re doing it on purpose though. Making me all flustered.”

“Oh, most definitely,” Tony nodded with a cheeky little grin. “I like it. You’re so easy to tease and fluster. It’s going to be part of our dynamic, I can tell now.”  
“Yeah, me too,” Steve huffed again, his lower lip jutting out in a bit of a pout. Okay, that was adorable. Who gave this guy the right to be so cute? “I guess I can deal with it.”

“Yeah, you can. I believe in you,” Tony continued to tease as he shoved chips in his mouth and stared up at the movie. As much as he loved this movie, Steve was still a better view. He had to keep sneaking little glances his way under the guise of seeing his reactions. “You’re enjoying this. I can tell.”

“You’re not wrong,” Steve admitted with a look over at Tony. “I get the appeal, especially for a guy like you. We’ve got a whole lot more to watch, right? An extensive list if I remember correctly.”

“Oh, naturally. That’s not even including the shows you need to watch,” Tony reminded as he turned to Steve. “Maybe I just want you over here more though. It’s still up for debate.”

“I must’ve won you over quickly,” Steve said with a little laugh and proud grin. Tony liked having that proud grin directed his way. There was something oddly reassuring about it. 

“You sure did, sugar plum,” He nodded confidently. It was true. He’d been completely wrong about the other before they’d become acquaintances; maybe even mild friends at this point. “But you’re a sweet guy and you have those pretty eyes… It’s hard to say no to that.”

“Noted. I know what to do if I ever need a favor from you,” Steve’s tone was mostly teasing, but Tony had a suspicion that the blond might actually weaponize those baby blues at some point. The credits rolled on the screen, and Steve fixed those dazzling eyes on Tony moments later. “Alright, so… you’ve officially introduced me to the world of classic sci-fi.”

“Oh come on, gimme more than that! Lights on,” Tony huffed, tucking his legs under himself and turning to fully face Steve. The lights came up so he could properly see Steve. They both blinked for a moment to adjust to the sudden change in their pupils before making eye contact. “Did you enjoy it? Are you down for another movie before it’s past your bedtime?”

“First of all, I resent that. Second of all, yes, and yes,” Steve said simply, nodding. “I most definitely enjoyed it, but I honestly enjoyed seeing you so excited about it more.”

_ Oh, jesus. Okay. That was really sweet and a bit more flirty than I’d expect. Props to ya, Rogers, you got a slight blush out of me.  _

“Cute,” He finally offered, a soft smile playing on his lips. The bruise on his cheek was visible, he was blushing, and he was tucked into himself like an eager, antsy child craving some sort of weird validation from the other. He was fairly certain this was a side of Tony Stark that most people would never see; not even those who knew him well. “In that case, I’m making the very executive decision that  _ The War of the Worlds _ is up next for us.”

Steve looked at Tony for a moment (almost a bit too long to just be friendly, but Tony may have just been hopeful) before nodding and offering a smile so lovely it could inspire a Spartan war.  _ Helen of Troy _ be damned, Tony thought,  _ You’ve got nothing on Steve of Brooklyn. _

“Let’s do it,” Steve finally said. “Just let me make a quick bathroom run, okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll get it all set up.” Tony agreed. He told Steve just how to get where he was going before sitting properly and leaning back in his chair. 

As Tony waited for Steve to return and pulled up the aforementioned film, there were a few thoughts sitting at the forefront on his mind. The first was a handful of ways to vastly improve his current AI project that would make this whole movie experience better. The second was that he was sure glad Howard wouldn’t be home all weekend so he could successfully keep Steve around for longer. The last, the final thought, the scariest thought, was that Tony Stark was most definitely forming a crush on Steve Rogers. 

“You ready?” Steve asked as he returned and sat back down, throwing a slight grin Tony’s way. He startled Tony, snapping the engineer out of his own head. “Round two?”

“Yep. Ready as I’ll ever be,” Tony nodded, his heart pounding.  _ Oh, fuck _ , he thought as the lights lowered and the movie began,  _ I am so not ready to deal with this. _ “Round two, here we go.”


	6. love is careless in its choosin

The sun was streaming through the window, and it felt much earlier than Tony was used to. He groaned softly as he squeezed his eyes shut a bit more, trying to block out the light. He turned over and hit something solid, opening his eyes and instantly finding a soft smile on his face.

_ Saturday. 8am. Tony’s bedroom. Steve Rogers, miraculously. _

His mind and heart start racing as soon as he registered that the impressively large figure next to him was Steve fucking Rogers. He remembered. After a couple of movies, they’d headed up to Tony’s room to talk a bit and so he could show Steve some blueprints he’d been working on. The blond always seemed interested in Tony’s work which was deeply flattering.

They had laid back on the bed, side by side, for a bit and just… talked. Steve told Tony about how he got into drawing and a little bit of his history as a kid. He’d been really sick, picked a lot of fights for honorable reasons (he didn’t like bullies), and had a serious glow-up the last few years of high school. Here he was now, in Tony’s bed, picking less fights, much healthier, and certainly showing it with those goddamn muscles.

Tony told him about starting college so young, how strange  _ that _ had been. He told him about why he’d left MIT and a bit more about the pressure of Howard’s legacy. He didn’t talk about this stuff a lot with  _ anyone _ , but Steve made it easier. He really listened, and he seemed to actually care which was refreshing. He had listened quietly but sincerely when Tony told him about meeting his group of friends and feeling a real sense of family in them. He’d told the other young man about how he’d felt similarly finding his friends Sam, Bucky, Sharon, and, of course, Nat. 

They’d ended up falling asleep apparently in the middle of a conversation about their favorite music. Steve had been talking about the 40s and 50s stuff his mom had shown him, and that was the last thing Tony remembered. 

He was pretty close to Steve, both of them at a weird angle from passing out with their legs dangling off the side. Tony was comfortably pressed into Steve’s side as he woke up, the larger of the two’s arm slung over Tony’s head. The engineer laid there for a few minutes, pretty fucking pleased to let this happen. He’d had a startling realization last night that he had a dumb, idiot crush on Steve Rogers. He’d accepted it as the night progressed, the silly butterflies in his stomach persistent. 

He hummed a bit to himself, grabbing his phone and looking through his messages. He’d practically ignored everyone all night in favor of Steve’s company, and he had a good few messages from Nat and Rhodey in particular. They both knew Steve was coming by and were being incessantly nosy. He responded quickly with some pretty straightforward replies. 

_ Pretty sure I’m getting a crush on Rogers of all people. Keep your mouth shut and tell me what to do. He’s asleep next to me, and we didn’t even have sex. _ He sent Rhodey’s way with some sad emojis.

_ We had fun. Steve is cute and interesting and maybe I have a crush on him, sue me.  _ He added a couple of eye roll emojis. 

Steve, next to him, began to stir and mumbled something softly as he turned over on his side to look at Tony and offer a soft sleepy smile. He moved his arm and scooted a bit further, flushing softly. He must not have realized how close he was to Tony. 

“Morning,” He said softly, yawning a bit. “Didn't mean to pass out in your bed like this. Sorry about that.”

“Not a problem, pal,” Tony assured, not adding that he fucking loved that Steve had passed out in his bed. “You’re pretty warm to sleep next to actually. Like a little personal heater.”

Steve sat up and stretched a bit, smiling softly and nodding. “I’ve been told that before actually.”

“We should get breakfast,” Tony said as he stood up and stretched as well, flipping through some clothes to wear for the day. “I need coffee, and I bet you eat a lot with all those muscles.”

Steve rolled his eyes at that, the soft flush on his cheeks not particularly subtle. Tony caught it out of the corner of his eye and felt a nice little warmth in his stomach at that. He chalked it up to the blond being modest and didn’t let himself think about any other possibility. 

“There’s extra toothbrushes under my sink if you need.” He nodded towards his attached bathroom as he grabbed some jeans and a t-shirt. He waited until Steve had wandered into the bathroom to change quickly. 

“Should’ve brought some spare clothes,” Steve mumbled as he returned from the bathroom. “But I didn’t think I’d be spending the night.”

“That’s what they all say. Here.” Tony tossed Steve a shirt of his that would be big enough to fit over the larger man’s body. He tried to run into the bathroom before Steve stripped his shirt off, not wanting to thirst  _ that _ hard over his newfound friend. No luck. Steve quickly tossed his shirt off, and there were a few moments where Tony could not help his eyes from wandering up and down his body.  He was perhaps a bit obvious about the whole thing, but come on. He was a 20 year-old kid, and Steve was objectively gorgeous. 

The engineer ran into the bathroom once Steve put the borrowed t-shirt on, not wanting to risk him seeing the metaphorical puddle of drool collecting beneath him. He shut the door and leaned against it for a moment, mouthing a soft  _ fuck _ before he brushed his teeth and fixed his hair. He walked out of the bathroom to find Steve tying his shoes. He sat beside him and did the same, throwing on some converse and standing back up.

“You cool with greasy diner food?” He asked as he made sure he had his keys and wallet in his pockets. He opened the door and guided the way back down to the garage.

“Yeah, of course. I love greasy diner food,” Steve replied with a grin, his eyes were still a bit wide as they walked through the house. The daylight really brought out just how extravagant it was. “When Buck and I were growing up, we couldn’t afford a lot of eating out so we usually went to the diner down the street from my house. Cheap food but  _ great _ food.”

“Perfect because that’s the exact kind of thing I’m going for,” Tony threw some sunglasses on and glanced over at Steve with a half grin as they climbed into his car. “There’s this diner that Jarvis takes me too sometimes. He took me a lot more as a kid, but it kind of became a comforting place for me.”

He stopped there. He didn’t add that he and Jarvis usually ended up there after particularly bad days with Howard. Howard was often too drunk to control himself or sometimes just too angry at Tony being a disappointment to him. Tony used to fight back more, but the years had worn on him and he sometimes just didn’t have the energy anymore. They went to the diner less now because of that fact and because Tony had gotten good at hiding his bruises; both the emotional and physical ones. 

Nonetheless, it was a place he liked. It was attached to some bad memories, sure, but whenever he ended up there, he always left feeling like someone cared. Jarvis would listen and not judge and make sure Tony ended the evening feeling a little less broken. That alone made this a fond place where he only took people he trusted or cared about. Steve had apparently made his way into that select group somewhere between  _ Forbidden Planet _ and a totally innocent night together. 

“Well, I appreciate it,” Steve responded with a genuine grin on his lips. Tony glanced over and caught his eye, quirking up half a smile at that. He tried his hardest not to think about cute that fucking grin was, but of course he failed miserably. “I also appreciate that you dressed me in a Guns N’ Roses t-shirt. Is this how you slowly assimilate me like  _ It Came from Outer Space _ ?”

“Jesus, I love that you just referenced that.” Tony’s half smile turned into a full-on sappy grin at that point. There was something just so damn endearing about Steve actually showing an interest in Tony’s dorky interests that made him nearly swoon like a romance novel heroine. 

Steve was, naturally, still taken aback by the garage, but he was quiet about it this time. It didn’t take long to reach the diner once they climbed in the car. The diner was older and looked exactly like what you’d expect a 24 hour diner in the middle of New York to look like. There was some sort of poetic juxtaposition about Tony parking his audi and walking directly into a run-down diner that served $5 breakfast platters, but he was too busy staring at Steve discreetly to think about that. 

Over eggs, pancakes, and some pretty terrible coffee, Tony realized that Steve was possibly the sweetest person he’d ever met. The blond rambled on about art he liked and how he’d have to show Tony sometime. He rambled on about his mom, and how close they were. He rambled on and on, and between that and last night Tony started to truly get an idea of who Steve was.

Steve was honorable and sweet, and it was so clearly not an act. It was just who he was. Steve was a bit stubborn, easily countering Tony any time the brunet’s natural inclination to interject occurred. Tony found that he liked that quite a bit actually. Steve met his sarcasm every time but without truly being rude, and that was something Tony had always found important in his friends (and apparently his ever increasing crush). 

Steve honest too. He didn’t shy away from calling out Tony when he defaulted to being a bit of a dick. In the most unexpected way, Steve gave Tony a desire to improve in a way no one else had. He found himself leaning on his elbow just taking in what Steve was saying and letting down that natural defense to push everyone away before they truly got to know him.

“Oh, fuck,” Tony said as he glanced down at his phone and found that they’d been sitting in that booth for nearly two hours. “I have a meeting in 20 minutes I completely forgot about until this exact moment in time. Lemme drop you off and show up late as usual.”

“Why doesn’t it surprise me that you’re always late?” Steve asked with a bit of an eye roll attached.

“Because I’m a selfish asshole?” He hopped up, tossing a rather large tip on the table before heading outside and back to the car with Steve in tow. “Or maybe because I’m a very important and busy man.”

“Or maybe it’s because your sense of time and awareness could use some serious work,” The blond commented as he entered his address and they sped to Brooklyn. “You also lack some serious awareness of speed limits, Tony.”

“Aren’t you an art student? I wasn’t aware you were getting your degree in the psychology of spoiled rich kids,” Tony commented with a bit of a huff attached. “Which isn’t to say you aren’t right, but damn, stop calling me out.”  
“I don’t think I will,” Steve replied back without hesitation which was, once again, endearing in the weirdest way. “But thank you for the movies and the pancakes and the t-shirt that I promise I’ll return by Monday. Oh, and thank you for the fun night.”

“Not a problem, dear,” Tony responded, mentally kicking himself for slipping out a stupid nickname. “We still have plenty of movies to watch and plenty of pancakes to eat. See ya Monday, blondie.”

He watched as Steve hopped out of the car and waved softly as he headed for his apartment. His stupid fucking heart swelled up at that and he frantically texted Rhodey.

_ SOS: Steve Rogers is annoyingly perfect. Not to be corny, but he helps remind me to live up to my potential… and all that. Kill me.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, i did include that last quote almost directly from the comics. sue me.


	7. she was tired, you can't hide beat

“Don’t you dare say anything,” Tony threatened as Nat gave him  _ that  _ look; that stupid, knowing smirk that she always gave him. “I know you can read me like a book, and I know exactly what you’re going to say.”

_ Wednesday. 11am. The Library. Natasha and her annoying smirk. _

“Oh, yeah?” Nat countered, sipping her coffee and leaning back in her chair. “What am I going to say, Tony? Please educate me.”  
“You’re going to mention Steve, and you’re going to totally harp on me for being an idiot,” He mumbled, glancing around the library to make sure no one was close enough to hear them. “And you’re going to tell me that I shouldn’t ruin his innocence by existing near him or fucking him or whatever else I do that destroys innocence.”

“Oh, Tony, you may be a genius, but you’re such an idiot,” Natasha sighed and shook her head. Her face changed to a slightly disappointed scrunch as she leaned in closer to Tony. “It’s the opposite of that. I think he’s good for you. You have to realize that after spending so much time with him.”  
“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Tony conceded. “Maybe, just _maybe_ , I considered taking his nagging advice about doing better things, but it was just a fleeting consideration, okay? You can’t say shit until I actually start behaving like a boy scout.”

“Alright. That’s a deal then, and don’t look now, but your honorable knight in shining armor is heading this way,” She offered a wink before standing up. “And that is most certainly my cue to leave so he can return your shirt.”

“How did you -” He didn’t even get the rest of the question out of his mouth before Nat was gone, and Steve was next to him giving him that sweet grin that made his heart do a good few somersaults. 

“Hey,” Steve greeted as he sat beside Tony and slid the neatly folded shirt his way. “I washed it and everything.”

“Oh, thank god,” Tony replied with over exaggerated enthusiasm and relief in his voice, a crooked grin playing on his lips. “I’m always telling my dad that while it was a bold choice to categorize spending his billions on cars, we should’ve invested in a washer and dryer instead.”

“You see, I was  _ just _ starting to think everyone was wrong about you being a dick,” Steve countered immediately, his own lips unable to keep from forming a slight smile right back. “But now I see that you’re exactly what everyone says about you.”

“So you see that I’m handsome, charming, witty, smart, and above all the most impressive person you’ve ever met?” Tony teased back. He wasn’t sure he would ever stop loving how easily he could quip with Steve. A lot of people couldn’t take his sarcasm much less banter back with the sass to match him. Hell, most people didn’t even have the sarcastic potential to match him. He figured that was another reason his stupid heart was doing flips over the gentle teasing.

“None of those things are untrue.” Steve shrugged. Normally Tony would assume whoever was talking to him was just agreeing for the sake of agreeing, but there was something in the way Steve said that. He supposed genuine was the word he was searching for. Steve genuinely believed Tony was those things; which opened a whole new can of worms if Steve truly thought Tony was that handsome and charming.

“Thanks, doll,” He winked to mask the slight nerves and hopeful jitters coursing through him. “So, uh, are we on for another marathon this weekend?”

“Oh! I meant to tell you!” Steve snapped and a wide grin fell onto his features. “Sam and Bucky are having a small get together type thing this Friday. We could table the marathon this Friday if you wanted to go with me. It’s not going to be the kind of party you’re used to, but it should be fun. It’s just a handful of my friends mostly, but you’d get to meet them properly if you wanted. Nat will be there, obviously, Thor, Sam, Bucky, Sharon, and maybe a few of Sam’s ROTC friends.”

“Yes!” Tony responded, hearing immediately how overenthusiastic his voice was. He didn’t even realize it was coming out of his mouth until it was too late. He cleared his throat and nodded, trying to play it off as a lot more casual than it was. “I mean, yeah, sure, of course. That’d be great if they’re cool with me being there.”

“Yeah, of course they are!” Steve replied with another one of those excruciatingly genuine smiles on his lips. God, could he just calm it down with the cute thing for once? “I gotta go to class, but I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon, okay?”

“See ya then, Cap.” Tony offered with a small salute.

“Cap?” Steve asked with a quirked brow as he stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder. “Why am I Cap?”

“I don’t know. Just kinda fits you,” Tony answered, trying to think of a way to explain it that wasn’t totally lame. “You seem like the kind of guy to help and guide other people, you know? You always encourage people to be better and do better. You’re like some… force of good incarnate, a natural leader… A Captain.”

“Hm. Noted.” Steve had a soft smile on his face as he said that, giving Tony a little salute before heading off to class. There was a brief moment where Tony couldn’t turn his eyes away from Steve’s ass, and he was just glad no one (especially not Steve) saw how much he was staring. He certainly wasn’t unabashed at first until he caught himself and stood up, grabbing his things. 

He headed out onto the quad, scanning around and looking for Janet. He needed her specific type of expertise. It wasn’t hard to spot her in the distance, leaning against a tree and luckily she was chatting enthusiastically to Pepper. Perfect.

“Jan! Pep!” He called out as he began a light jog to get to them. The young engineer stood before them, giving them that signature big-eyed look he had perfected over the years. “You are the two people I need to see most in the world right now.”

“Oh, yeah? What have you come to bother us with, Tony?” Pepper asked, that fond little smile reserved just for Tony playing on her lips. “Let me guess… You want our help concerning Friday?”

“Wait, you know already?” Tony asked, surprise in his voice for only a moment. “I mean… Of course, you know. It’s like you two have spies all over the place keeping tabs on everything and everyone. Have either of you considered espionage?”

“That’s more Nat’s thing,” Pepper responded. “Which, speaking of Nat, that’s how I know. I’m going with her.”  
“Which means I’ll get all the juicy details of how awkward you are around _Steeeeeevvveee_ ,” The tone in her voice alone made Tony almost flush. He would’ve if he hadn’t perfected the ability to hide his emotions in his adolescence. He guessed that was something he could thank Howard for. “Unfortunately I have a project due Monday so I won’t be able to make it, but Pepper promised to fill me in.” A wink followed that statement.

“I hate you both, but I need your help,” He groaned and sighed heavily. “Janet, can you please help me pick something to wear? I’m not expecting anything to happen with him or anything, so don’t even… Don’t think it will. I just…”

“Wow, are you getting _flustered_ about flirting with someone?” Pepper asked a genuine look of surprise on her face. Her expression softened after a moment. “This is actually… brand new.”  
“Of course we’ll help you, Tony, don’t worry,” Janet chimed in with an admittedly excited grin. “We’ll make sure your all American boy swoons when he sees you.”

“Thank you, seriously!” Tony couldn’t hide the smile on his face. “I’ll text you tonight!” He ran off, the rest of the day going quickly since his mind was certainly elsewhere for the most part. There were a lot of things to consider about Friday, and that’s where his brain stayed for the most part.

When Tony arrived back home, his plan was to run upstairs and begin digging through his clothes for options to send to Jan. That… didn’t happen. The moment he stepped in the door, he heard his Dad in the distance. His voice was loud and elevated. Tony closed the door quietly behind him and crept inside, hoping he could slip in unnoticed. 

“Maria, he’s  _ your _ son!” Howard was hissing, his words sharp but the distinct hint of drunkenness playing on the edge of his tone. “Do you know how it makes me look when he’s late to meetings?”

“Howard -” His mother’s voice cut in before immediately being interrupted again.

“It makes me look like a  _ fool! _ ” His father yelled, louder now. The anger was only rising as Tony slowly walked towards the stairs, praying to a god he didn’t believe in to let him get past without encountering his dad. “The board was waiting on him, and he was nearly 45 minutes late, and doing what? Who the hell knows?”

There was a moment of silence from both of them, causing Tony to still completely and hold his breath. He’d been with Steve on Saturday. That’s why he’d been late. He’d spent too much time staring into the blond’s eyes and forgotten the damn meeting. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Anthony, I know you’re home,” Howard’s voice finally echoed throughout the house. “Come here and explain to your mother and me why you think it’s acceptable to shame the Stark name.”

Tony’s stomach churned with anxiety as he made his way into Howard’s office. He had been so close to avoiding a confrontation and another goddamn bruise from Howard. This was… bound to be worse than the last time.

Hours of yelling and apologizing later, Tony slunk upstairs. He collapsed on his bed. The bruise on his ribs hurting like absolute hell as he did so. He winced every time he breathed, but that wasn’t nearly as bad as the busted lip he was sporting. Howard had told him it was his fault that he ran into the door frame. And, of course, how could Tony be stupid enough to let a grown man throw him into a door frame? He should’ve turned his face away, like Howard said. He’d gotten another smack across the upside of the head for letting that happen.

He slid his phone out of his pocket, scrolling through all the missed messages and trying to figure out a way to disguise his busted lip before he had to see Steve again. 

_ Don’t be mad at me, but I started watching The Twilight Zone without you. I stole Bucky’s Hulu, and I figured you’d be proud of me. SR _

A smile fell across Tony’s lips as he read that, the pain emanating from the split becoming completely unimportant as he saw that. His heart did 5 backflips as he read that text over and over. 

_ I think I can forgive you for this one. As long as you’re willing to entertain my new nickname for you. I figured out that you’re not just Captain. You’re a leader, an all American boy, and the most Brooklyn kid from Brooklyn I’ve ever met. You’re Captain America. TS _

_ And the Captain of my goddamn heart,  _ Tony typed out before erasing that last bit and sending the rest. Friday. Everything would be better Friday.


	8. their jealousy's spilling down, the stars must stick together

“And you’re 100% sure I don’t look like I’m trying too hard? Don’t you dare roll your eyes at that either because I can already hear whatever sarcastic reply is about to come out of your mouth.” Tony looked at himself in the mirror, taking in the dark pants and red shirt they’d chosen for him after an embarrassing amount of time.

_ Friday. 6pm. Tony’s closet. An exhausted Janet. _

“For the hundredth time, Tony, yes!” Janet groaned, only playfully upset with him. She knew this was important to him, but her help had to come with some gentle teasing. It kept Tony grounded, and he had to admit he appreciated that from all of his close friends. “I mean, you are the  _ king _ of overcompensating so it’s shocking that you’re even worried about that.”

“Yeah, but Steve is Mr. All-American Casually Gorgeous Without Even Trying,” Tony countered with a heavy, admittedly a bit dreamy sigh. “And he’s inviting me into his friend circle or whatever which is flattering. I don’t want to be the asshole who shows up looking like he’s ready for a gala instead of a hangout.”

“You’ll be  _ fine _ ,” Janet assured as she started to gather her things up. “You know that color looks good with your skin tone, and I have to go finish my schoolwork before you question our choices again. Good luck! Don’t swoon so hard you hurt yourself!”

Jan gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and an encouraging thumbs up as she slung her bag over her shoulder. Tony had time to shoot her an eye roll followed by a sincere thank you before she flitted downstairs like a little wasp. 

He gave himself another once over in the mirror before running a hand through his hair and finally convincing himself that he was ready to go. He was trying to ignore the idiotic butterflies in his stomach, but they were proving to be consistent little buggers who flapped their wings with every thought of Steve. 

He found himself reminding himself over and over that this was a stupid fantasy anyway. His brain wouldn’t shut up on the drive there, reminding him of exactly every reason why Steve would  _ obviously _ never return these pesky romantic feelings. 

 

  1. Steve was clearly too good for Tony and all of his baggage.
  2. Given his looks, personality, and general likability, Steve probably had so many better topr options than Tony Stark of all people.
  3. Tony wasn’t exactly known for being great in relationships or for even _having_ relationships at all. He was sure that playboy reputation of his wasn’t enticing to someone like Steve.
  4. The guy was probably straight anyway which meant all of this was pointless from the jump.



He would have found even more reasons to hate these dumb feelings if he hadn’t already arrived at Sam and Bucky’s place which cut his dumb brain off entirely. He tugged the mirror down above his steering wheel and looked at himself for a moment. He’d had Janet help him cover up his busted lip to the best of their ability. She went away thinking Dum-E had accidentally booped him too hard, and he (thanks to the fashion queen herself) went away with a slightly less horrible looking lip. 

Tony took a deep breath and threw on his million-dollar smile that was almost always guaranteed to charm anyone. He hesitated for a moment before knocking on the door and waiting for someone to answer, feeling stupidly nervous for such a small get together.

“Heeeeeeey, welcome to my humble abode,” Bucky greeted as he opened the door and

offered a half smile to Tony. “It’s nice to finally meet the famous dude Steve won’t shut the hell up about.”

He gestured for Tony to come inside and the engineer would be lying if he said it didn’t make his increasingly stupid heart skip a beat when he said that. Steve was really going on about him when he wasn’t around, huh? Well, wasn’t that just the sweetest thing in the whole world? 

“Thanks,” Tony finally spoke up after he’d been quietly thinking about Steve for far too long. “Nice to meet you too. Steve doesn’t shut up about you either, but I guess that’s just because he doesn’t shut up.”

That little comment received a snort and a laugh from Bucky which Tony took as some sort of approval. That was good. He’d been too caught up in the concept of Steve’s friends liking him lately, and that was both emotionally draining and completely out of character for him.

“You got that right,” Bucky agreed as he nodded and led Tony further into the house. It was a nice enough place for some college kids. “Let Steve know if you need anything while you're here. I can’t be trusted, and he basically has full reign here anyway.”

With that last comment, Bucky was gone and Tony was left standing alone near the table with all the booze. There weren’t many people there, but some of them at least were familiar faces. Tony shot a wave in the direction of Nat and Pepper once he caught sight of their red hair in the near distance. Nat gave a soft subtle nod to her left where Steve was sitting on a small couch, engrossed in a conversation with Sam and a girl Tony had to admit he didn’t recognize. 

One deep breath and a whiskey in hand later, Tony made his way towards the couches. That silly feeling in his stomach immediately came back when Steve turned his way. The blond’s face lit up and a genuine smile fell across his face. 

“Hey! Tony!” Steve greeted, beginning to stand up before Tony waved dismissively at that and opted to take a seat next to Steve on the loveseat instead. It totally and completely wasn’t so he could subtly touch Steve’s thigh or anything. Not at all. “I’m so glad you came. This is Sam and Sharon.”

A few introductions and firm handshakes later, and the group resumed their conversation. It wasn’t hard for Tony to jump in, being the way he was and all. When he was nervous, he tended to have a problem shutting up anyway. Rhodey had made fun of him time and time again for the dumb jokes and rambling that often accompanied his nerves. Not that anyone who wasn’t super close to Tony would notice. They’d just chalk it up to aligning with the charismatic personality he was known for. 

Tony’s whiskey disappeared pretty quickly as it always seemed to at parties or in new environments. When the conversation hit a lull, he stood up to grab another drink and was pleasantly surprised when Steve stood up with him. 

“Having fun?” Steve asked as he grabbed a beer from the cooler and watched Tony pour himself another whiskey. He leaned against the wall and held a half smile on his lips that made Tony nearly swoon.

“Oh, yeah, tons,” He said truthfully as he turned to face Steve and take a slow sip of his drink without breaking eye contact. “Your friends are pretty great, Cap, gotta admit. Not that I  _ ever  _ questioned Natasha’s taste in the matter, and don’t you dare tell her I did.”

“Yeah?” Steve asked with a laugh. He mimed zipping his lips and throwing away the key to assure the brunet he wouldn’t tell Nat. “Glad they get the Stark seal of approval.”

“Course they do. You’ve got taste, Rogers,” He winked before glancing over and nodding in Sharon’s direction. “How come I’ve never seen her around before?”

“Sharon?” Steve asked as he glanced over his shoulder and shrugged. “Not sure. I’m pretty surprised your paths haven’t crossed by now. I know she and Natasha have some classes together.”

“Hm. Weird,” Tony commented, still keeping his eyes trained on Sharon for a moment before looking back up at Steve. “Nat hasn’t mentioned her before, but she’s pretty cool.”

“I, uh, was meaning to ask you something while we’re on the topic,” Steve cleared his throat and said a bit softer. “Your birthday party. I think I wanna go actually. Maybe not the  _ whole  _ time, but… yeah. I’d like to go.”

“Seriously?!” Tony asked, straightening up. The excitement in his tone was impossible to hide, even with how good Tony was at hiding his emotions sometimes. “That’s awesome! Everyone is going to be so fucking impressed that I convinced you to come. What’s your question though? Whatever it is, the answer is probably yes.”

“I was wondering if I could bring someone with me?” Steve asked, a soft flush falling across his face as he asked. Usually that little blush made Tony’s heart skip quite a few beats, but not this time. That… wasn’t the question he was expecting nor was it one that he particularly liked. “Just, you know, because it’ll be big and not really my scene and I don’t want you to feel obligated to spend your  _ entire  _ birthday night with me and -”

“Yeah, sure,” Tony interrupted Steve’s rambling after a moment. “Who did you wanna bring? Bucky? Sam?”

“I was thinking Sharon probably,” He said and nodded in her direction. Tony was worried about that. That was the exact answer he _didn’t_ want to hear even if it was the answer he expected. “She’s good with that kinda thing.”  
“Yeah, sure. I’ll have Nat send her the invite,” Tony said and cleared his throat. “I, uh, gotta go to the bathroom.”

Discreet, Stark, discreet. Tony barely had time to berate himself for being such an obvious jealous  _ loser _ before he got to the bathroom. He didn’t even deserve to feel like this. It was ridiculous. He’d listed those five reasons from the jump why crushing on Steve Rogers was a royally and completely  _ bad idea _ . He was a genius, for christsake, and he knew it was dumb. 

But that didn’t help anything. It certainly didn’t help to be a bonified genius when your heart was still broken over some dumb, handsome, stupid, perfect, straight boy.


	9. yearning deep inside of me, talking through the gloom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen... i know this took 900 years to post, and it's not super exciting but this i swear! i'm setting up the next chapter to be eventful as all hell. it will be packed with some angst, lust, and perhaps some romance. oh, and I'll definitely post it before the end of the year. thank you guys for sticking by with my erratic updating and slowburn as fuck <3

 

“Tones, you know as much as I love you, this whole sulking thing is getting real old, real fast. As much as I enjoy watching you sit there with the look of a kicked puppy on your face… I’m totally kidding. I hate it.”

_ Wednesday. 3pm. The quad. Honey bear. _

“Can you have a heart, platypus?” Tony huffed, looking up from the designs he had been furiously sketching to meet Rhodey’s gaze. His phone buzzed, and he glanced down. The already present pout on his lips somehow deepened as he saw the name. “I skipped tutoring yesterday, and now Steve won’t stop texting me.”

“Am I missing something here?” Rhodey asked with a quirk of his brow. “Shouldn’t you be excited that your boy toy is texting you and missin’ you?”

“Nope. Not one bit exciting,” Tony shoved his phone further away. It took a lot for him to ignore the  **_Cap (5)_ ** on his screen, but he was somehow managing to have more self-control than usual. “See, it’s time to pull back from this all. I was an idiot for letting any of these so-called, ‘feelings’ get in the way of my logical brain, and now I’ve gone and developed a genuine crush on someone.”

“Oh, the horror,” Rhodey replied sarcastically as he rolled his eyes and looked up from his notes. “Tony Stark having a heart? Someone alert the presses. It’s disgusting!”

“It is!” Tony protested, completely and totally not sarcastic about the entire situation. He was as over-dramatically serious as a Tony could be. “I, being a genius, had my suspicious about Steve being unideal for my affections, but this weekend just confirmed it. I stupidly let my carefully crafted guard down, and now I have to force myself to watch him mack on some gorgeous girl on my own birthday.”

“From what you’ve told me, Tony, you don’t have any concrete evidence that Steve is into this chick,” Rhodey pointed out. “Not very scientific of you, hm?”

“Oh, come on, honey bear,” Tony scoffed and set his pencil down from his work. “He’s a 20-year-old straight dude, and she’s a hot blond. The math does itself.”

“When have you ever let someone besides yourself do math?” Rhodey argued. He glanced down as Tony’s phone buzzed again. “Your straight dude is sure texting you a lot for someone who isn’t into you. You might wanna check those.”

Tony huffed and sighed. He supposed he should at least see what Steve was on about. It wasn’t like it was really his fault that Steve was a silly crush to have. As dramatic as Tony liked to be, Steve didn’t particularly deserve that rage that should only be owed to Tony himself. 

_ Hope you had a good time Saturday. You dipped kind of early. Didn’t see you after you headed to the bathroom. SR _

_ Nat told me you couldn’t meet up Tuesday. Everything alright? SR _

_ Do you wanna reschedule? I know you’re a busy guy, so it’s cool if not. SR _

_ By the way, I got a solid 87% on my last test. Highest grade I’ve gotten this semester! :) SR _

_ I definitely owe that all to your smarts and surprisingly effective teaching skills. So, thanks again for all the help, Tones. SR _

_ Last text I swear, we on for tutoring tomorrow or is this whole week a no go? Again, no pressure :) SR _

Tony almost groaned aloud as he read through the messages. Steve was so goddamn polite and nice; genuinely so. Here Tony was being a total asshole by cancelling on him for no reason other than his own stupidity, and Steve was still being an absolute doll.

“I mean, look at this,” Tony slid his phone across to Rhodey and buried his face in his hands. “Why is he so fucking nice? He may be the nicest guy I’ve met in my life, so to be fair he doesn’t deserve a proper asshole like me.”

“Poor you,” Rhodey rolled his eyes and slid the phone back over. “God forbid someone is nice to you and maybe possibly doesn’t want to get in bed with you.”

“It’s more than that!” Tony cried out with pure distraught in his tone. A little voice in his brain assured him that he was being a drama queen, but he couldn’t seem to stop. “I don’t just want to get him in bed. I’ve got these stupid _feelings_ for the guy. They’re real, genuine feelings of something far beyond lust.”

“How will the famous playboy go on with these horrible, terrible feelings?” Rhodey continued to tease as he shoved his stuff in his bag and patted Tony’s back. “Don’t give up just yet, alright? If anything, you’re stubborn as all hell. Utilize that character flaw to the best of your ability.”

“Yeah, yeah, dick,” Tony huffed but couldn’t help the smile on his lips. “If somehow within the two weeks before my birthday, pigs fly and Steve Rogers isn’t straight, I’ll thank you.”

Rhodey winked before heading to class, leaving Tony alone and pouty with his coffee. He stared at the series of texts from Steve, his thumbs hovering over the keyboard. Jesus. What would be worse: not seeing Steve tomorrow or… seeing Steve tomorrow? It was a catch-22 of colossal proportions in Tony’s world.

_ Hey. Lots of planning to do before my party. We’ll have to reschedule for tomorrow. Sorry, Cap. TS _

_ Tony’s thumb hovered over the send button for a bit too long before he finally decided to send it. Fuck it. Maybe Steve should start to see how much of a dick Tony really was, and this whole friendship would dissolve and make things a helluva lot easier. _

_ No problem. I’m taking it no movie marathon this weekend either? This birthday bash is going to be the party of the century with all this planning, haha. SR _

_ That’s the goal at least. Hope you and, what’s her name?, enjoy yourselves. I’ve got the best team around planning it. TS _

_ Sharon. I’m sure we will for at least a little bit. I might not stay too late, but I want to at least get you your present. SR _

_ Of course. It’ll probably be kind of chaotic anyway. Not your scene, I know. I’ll see you then. TS _

_ See you soon :) SR _

Tony knew he was being petty. He damn right knew it. He knew Sharon’s name, but something about typing it out made the situation all too real. He grabbed his stuff, heading straight home and sequestering himself in the lab for hours of distraction.

  
  


******

No one could say Tony wasn’t good at sleuthing. He kind of had to be to stay in the know like he admittedly preferred to do. He wasn’t the kind of guy to accept not knowing things. This proved to be more of a curse when his intel informed him that Sharon and Steve were quite the item lately. 

_ Saturday. 6pm. Stark media room. Tony and his thoughts. _

It wasn’t a shock really, but it still hit him with that aching feeling of something you already know being confirmed. It hit him right in the gut in a way that even his favorite episodes of The Twilight Zone couldn’t cure. It would’ve been a lot better if Steve had been there, but he was out and about on a Friday night date.

Some glasses of scotch and a fight with his dad had led Tony here; halfway listening to Rod Serling and halfway wincing every time his lip busted open again. There was an undeniable burn when the scotch hit the cut on his lip, but he was used to it.

God, he was an idiot, wasn’t he? He could’ve invited Steve over. He could’ve just enjoy the company of a platonic friend and tried to get past those unwanted feelings, but no. He had to let that pride of his get in the way. But that was what he did, wasn’t it? Pushed people away first before they could hurt him? Kept them at just the right distance he wanted to protect himself? That was the Stark way after all.

The party was all planned so all Tony had to do now was wait for his birthday bash to be slightly soured for maybe 45 minutes tops. He could make sure to be suitably drunk before it at least. There would certainly be no shortage of booze. He had made sure of that about a hundred times. 

He’d had his texting thread with Steve open for the last hour, just trying to think of something to text but at the same time trying to resist texting him. What could he say that would make up for any of his bullshit? That was a question that even his genius couldn’t answer. Maybe another easy lie to cancel their time together next week as well. Something about the party planning despite it being more than prepped. Steve didn’t have to know that. 

_ Got lots to do this upcoming week. Raincheck on tutoring? I’ll see you Friday though. Hope your weekend is going well. TS _

There it was. Nice enough but undoubtedly removed from most emotions. It would do. Hours later, he wasn’t surprised when Steve didn’t reply. It was a dick move, and he was right to ignore Tony’s breach of promise. But hey, no one ever said Tony could keep a promise, did they?


End file.
